Tit for tat
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says,
I don't feel like it,
I just want you to hold me.
I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear
You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.
She responded to my puzzled look by saying,
Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom? Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. .
The very next day I opted to take the day off work to spend with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.
I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said.
Let's get a pair for each outfit"
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you she was so excited.
She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know, how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, that's fine, honey.
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. ., Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said,
I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,
No honey, I don't. I feel like it
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, WHAT?
I then said, "Honey! I just want you to hold this stuff for a while. "
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she, was going to kill me, I added,
Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
Author Anonymous: But the first three letters of his name is M.A.X and he is a keen "Blowflyer".
